Is the 'Good Life' better than the life I live when I thought that I was gonna go crazy?

For some reason, there's been a few events that I've been thinking a lot about lately to hold on to hope.

1. "I'm back to Vegas cause I always had a passion for flashin'"
   > When I was young, it seemed like our family had this tradition of going to Las Vegas for a weekend when ever one of us kids turned twenty-one. When I turned twenty-one, we did not do that. Don't get me wrong, I had an amazing twenty-first birthday and I am extremely grateful. However my cousin Lo-Lo's older brothers both had there's in Vegas and now it's her turn. I have been wanting so badly to go for the past year, and I have no clue why, but I am a bit afraid i'm getting my hopes up for nothing.
2. "Now my grandmama ain't the only girl calling 'BABY!'"
   > Though working at the church was great for so many reasons, they have this obsession with Jesus' supposed "birthday" (sarcasm for you who didn't catch that). This is completely understandable, however, this often resulted in me working the weekend before and the weekend of Christmas. My family also has this crazy tradition where the whole family spends the weekend at my Grandma's in Big Bear the weekend before Christmas. I have missed out on this tradition for the last five years. This seems like it'll be the first year in a long time I'll get to re-experience the drunken UNO games, the wild LCR games where winning $30 is better than Vegas, and the possibility that it will snow and on the way home my cousin will once again rearend my uncle.
3. "Having money isn't everything... not having it is."
   > This one is kind of weird. For one reason, I'm starting to realize that money is becoming the most important thing in my life. With the growing desire for material things, money is starting to become my mammon. As I continue to look for a better paying main job or a possible second/night job, my dad keeps trying to get me to become an entrepreneur and start a cleaning/childcare business. Don't get me wrong they're good ideas, but I don't have the time or energy to put into that kind of a job right now. Money just seems to be a big issue right now. I think for the first time it's actually taken an effect in my life. All I know is that by the time I get a new truck/x-terra, I will have paid off the balance on my credit card, and have a steady enough job to pay for car payments and school.
   

Apparently the weights of this world have started to show through. My parents and Mar continue to ask me why I seem down or distant and to be honest I don't mean to let it show, It's just a very odd time in my life. I've never been in a situation like this. Immediately after high school I had a job and i've kept steady well-paying jobs since then, while always keeping $1,000+ in my savings. Now that that cushin has been deflated, I am forced to depend on GOD for my provisions. While He does miraculously continue to provide for me it's something I'm not used to.
Well that's it for this update of life in the Infinite Abyss, until next time, good luck.